Dodge, duck, dip, dive and dodge -- the five D's of dodgeball, according to Patches O'Houlihan, the legendary hurler from Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story.

On Sept. 10, West Michigan throwers might consider O'Houlihan's advice as teams converge on The B.O.B parking lot, 20 Monroe Ave. NW, Grand Rapids, for an aerial assault of red rubber balls.

Teams of six players 21 years of age or older will try to mercilessly pelt and eliminate their opponents in the 2011 WGRD Dodgeball Challenge, which is sponsored by 97.9 WGRD. Each team will play one another in the round-robin style tournament until one overall winner is determined. The winning team will receive a prize pack valued at more than $500, which includes gift cards from The B.O.B. and Leinenkugel's swag.

The tournament will host a maximum of 60 co-ed teams, but Dave Kim, Promotions Director for WGRD, said that 20-40 teams is more realistic.

Participants can register their teams at WGRD.com until Monday, Sept. 5. The registration fee is $120 per team. The first game will start at 10 a.m. on Saturday, September 10. Spectators can watch the competition for free.

WGRD Dodgeball Challenge The B.O.B. parking lot, Grand Rapids Sept. 10 21 + $120 per team wgrd.com

At first glance, dodgeball might not seem like a very complicated sport. It's basic human nature to avoid projectiles sailing toward your face. President Bush showed us this at a 2008 press conference when he skillfully dodged a one-two combo of angry Iraqi wingtips.

But there's more to dodgeball than just not getting hit -- teams need offensive strategies, explained Paul Hillebrand, a competitor in this year's tournament.

"There are times when you need to coordinate with your teammates to throw at the same person," said the former member of Grand Valley State University's dodgeball team. "For example, one guy throws high, and the other throws low, or they each throw from different angles."

With $500 worth of prizes on the line, Hillebrand expects a day of fiercely competitive and entertaining dodgeball.

"You don't have non willing combatants in competitive dodgeball," he said. "You don't have that kid who gets clocked in the face and doesn't want to be there. Everyone wants to be there, so you can go all out and not feel bad about hitting people in the face."

 

The most exposure the majority of us Americans have had to rugby probably happened in one of Matt Damon's glorious moments in Clint Eastwood's Invictus. Marco Riolo, vice president and tournament director of the Grand Rapids Rugby Football Club hopes to change that, starting with Rugby City, U.S.A., a term given to Grand Rapids.

"Rugby City, U.S.A. was a coined term created to brand Grand Rapids as the place where rugby will become the most powerful in the Midwest, and also the U.S.," Riolo said. "Rugby is really going to be a leading force in what goes on in the area. We are rugby."

Riolo, a player himself, says this year's 7s Tournament, held at Riverside Park for the first time, is going to be pivotal in the sport's growth.

"It'll be the first time it's been downtown. It'll be the first opportunity for people really to be a part of the experience," Riolo said. "We expect this to be a very accessible tournament -- it's athletic, it's free, it's right along the bike trails. Whoever is a part of it will gain from the exposure of the tournament, as well as be able to view athletics of the highest quality."

For this tournament alone, 30 to 40 teams from across the Midwest, and even nation, compete for bids to qualify for national tournaments to come.

Grand Rapids Rock Hard Rugby's 7s Tournament Riverside Park, Grand Rapids July 16, 9:30 a.m.-4:30 p.m. Parking is $5 grandrapidsrugby.com

"We've had teams come from as far as Washington D.C. and Colorado. Since we're a qualifier, it puts us at a very powerful spot. These are teams that are gaining points to run for nationals, so we have a lot of people looking at Grand Rapids. And the city's economic growth that comes from the tournament adds a piece to the pie."

While some people may be put off by assumptions of how brutal a sport rugby is, Riolo says it really isn't and people shouldn't be discouraged by it.

"When you look at rugby across the globe, kids are starting to play at 2, 3, 4 or 5 years old, and by the time they're 18 or 19, they've played 10,000-plus hours, all while being taught the proper techniques, strategy, and more importantly, the respect of the sport," Riolo said. "We may be a little off now compared to New Zealand or Australia, but 10 to 20 years from now we'll look back and realize we helped lay the foundation for what we think is going to be a huge thing in the U.S."

Laying a foundation is one of the reasons why the Grand Rapids Rugby Football Club carries on its Rookie Rugby program, to educate the youth so that they can carry on the torch of the sport, like Riolo himself has done.

"Once you've played, it's always in your blood. It never gets out of your blood. It's just in ya," Riolo said. "If you saw someone overseas or in an airport with a rugby shirt on and you walk up and say ‘Hey, we have rugby in Grand Rapids' -- that single phrase, just letting that person know you are familiar with the sport -- you'd have an immediate friend wherever you go. There's no smoke and mirrors in rugby. It's just real people. Most of us pay out of our pocket for half the things we do because we simply love the sport, we love the camaraderie that comes with it."

So whether your copy of Invictus is scratched from its overuse or you plan on coming out to the event, you should pat yourself on the back for being ahead of the curve.

"Rugby is such a fraternity of women and men around the world, and it has such an international following," Riolo said. "Imagine if it was like that here in Grand Rapids. It's going to grow and it's going to be massive."

Photo: Courtesy of Grand Rapids Rugby Football Club

While watching fireworks this Fourth of July, chances are bystanders in Grand Rapids will look toward the Grand River throughout the day and wish for a little cooling off.

With a little patience, that can come true at the 2011 Global Invitational Water Ski Championship. Millennium Park's beach will host the event on July 9 and 10, where viewers will witness some truly original high-flying displays.

World class male and female water skiers will come to Grand Rapids for the first time from all over the globe to compete in slalom and long jump events for more than $40,000 of prize money.

"It will be like an Olympics-type event," said Jerry Brouwer, owner of Action Water Sports -- one of the many sponsors for the championship. "All the top athletes (of water sports) will be here, so it will be very cool."

Top names such as Will Asher and Karina Nowlen will dart between bouys as they're dragged behind a boat at 36 mph. In series of head-to-head time trials against other athletes, the field of competitors narrows down, as will the rope they hold on to with each successful run. The athletes who pass the most bouys with the shortest rope length win.

In the mens-only long-jump event, athletes such as Freddy Krueger will launch off a ramp up to 30 feet in the air and more than 200 feet in length at speeds between 65 and 70 mph after a few turns of the boat.

"Jumping is the most thrilling to watch," Brouwer said. "It's almost scary to watch. You almost close one eye."

Global Invitational Water Ski Chamionship Millennium Park, Grand Rapids July 9 & 10, gates open at 10 a.m. $4 Adults, $2 Children theproskitour.com, (616) 336-7275

And for those who aren't easily impressed, the competition will be infused with pure entertainment with the addition of show skiers, wakeboarders and barefoot water skiers. Yes, that means they ski with nothing but their feet.

All of this will be visible from Millennium Park's public beach, where visitors will be permitted to utilize all of the park's offerings at the cost of the normal entrance fee: $4 for adults and $2 for children. Essentially, for those who already planned a weekend at the beach, it's free entertainment -- who's going to argue with that?

"We thought that some place like Millennium Park would even be more special because it's close to downtown. It's got all of the amenities you could possibly want for an event like this: parking, concessions, nice bathrooms, it's got the splash park for kids and it's got a big beach so the people watching the action can wade in the water," Brouwer said.

Much planning had to be contributed in order for the luxurious park to host the event though.

"We didn't know if the size would work, so we did our due diligence on looking at the water and seeing if it was deep enough, wide enough, long enough and all that and it absolutely fit perfectly," Brouwer said. "That was a welcome surprise"

Last year, the event was held on a lake in the middle of Milwaukee and the public was "thrilled" with it. The city now plans on holding the event in the future, estimating nearly 80,000 attendants.

"We're hoping that Grand Rapids will embrace this and they will love it and that they will want to bring more events like this back in the future," Brouwer said.

Visitors are welcome to the event after 10 a.m. on both days when the park opens, with the admission fee on a per-day basis. The competitions start at 8 a.m. each day to accommodate the amount of athletes participating, so visitors will walk in on immediate action. For those seeking to attend just one day, more athletes will be present on Saturday when the competitive field is narrowed, and the best of the best will perform on Sunday with an awards ceremony ending the event at 6 p.m. Bleachers are not provided, so visitors are advised to bring comfortable beach equipment.

Pictured: Will Asher, courtesy photo

World Cup 2010 is just around the corner. To make sure you're prepared, our favorite Brit writer David Smith (who is completely unbiased) created this rundown of all the teams and their chances. (Click on the image below for a large PDF version, or read the text version after the jump.)

 

Group A

SOUTH AFRICA / Nickname: Bafana Bafana
Possibly the worst host nation side, ever. No chance of getting through the group even with the mad support of the Rainbow Nation. I’d love them to beat the Frenchies — the host nation doing well is always good for a tournament, but I can’t see it happening. Everton’s Steven Pienaar is a decent player.

MEXICO / Nickname: El Tri
Mexico has struggled to qualify and has had more than 300 coaches in the last week. It relies heavily on their talismanic pensioner, Blanco, with the unpronounceable first name of Cuauhtemoc, but the newest coach, Javier Aguire, is bringing a lot of young talent in, so hopefully they will knock the frogs (French) out.

URUGUAY / Nickname: Los Charrúas
Uruguay won the first ever World Cup in 1930. It hasn’t done much since then, but I fancy the dirty buggers to progress to the knockout stages. If not, I’m sure they will break a few legs on the way out.

FRANCE / Nickname: Cheese eating surrender monkeys
This is a team chock full of egos and arrogance. Hopefully, it will get through the group so someone decent can massacre them. There are some decent young players like Benzema and Gourcuff, but no one who can head butt as well as Zidane.

Group B

ARGENTINA / Nickname: La Albiceleste
If you want to see the best player in the world, watch the Argies, but don’t expect beautiful football. They are dirty cheats who love to dive around like girls. It will likely knock England out on penalties, having got Wayne Rooney sent off for farting. Long live the Falklands!

NIGERIA / Nickname: Super Eagles
Nigeria is likely to be a tough team, but it’s probably not in contention for the later rounds. There are some very strong players and some promising youngsters like Ikechukwu Uche and Victor Obinna, but I can’t see them beating Argentina. The team has a Swedish coach, so expect them to be naked a lot.

KOREA REPUBLIC / Nickname: The Taeguk Warriors
Asia’s most successful World Cup nation is characterised by very high energy levels and never giving up — as well as excellent mullets. It also has two good players in Park Ji-Sung of Manchester United and Park Chu-Young. Korea caused quite a stir in the last World Cup, so don’t underestimate them, but do expect them to be bounced all over the field by Nigeria.

GREECE / Nickname: Galanoleyki
Apparently they couldn’t afford to fly to South Africa, so the Greeks hitchhiked through Africa. Greece won Euro 2004 under coach King Otto, but I’d eat my hat if it repeated that feat. Expect Theofanis Gekas to bag a few goals as he was top scorer in European Qualification.

Group C

ENGLAND / Nickname: Three Lions
If Rooney, Lampard and Gerrard stay fit, we can go all the way. We have one of the best coaches and one of the most impressive qualification campaigns of anyone, scoring the most goals — six more than second place Spain. No Beckham for the girls to purr over (he is injured), but they can at least look at beautiful Wayne ‘Shrek’ Rooney.

USA / Nickname: Stars and Stripes
Well drilled and organised by Coach Bob Bradley, USA is a solid international team. It lacks a bit of creativity to dominate games and has its usual easy ride through CONCACAF qualifying (Costa Rica, Honduras, El Salvador, etc.) It lacks firepower to beat the big guns, as its top striker is Jozy Altidore of lowly Hull City in the English Premier League.

ALGERIA / Nickname: Les Fennecs
This is Algeria’s first qualification in 24 years after a nail biting and dramatic playoff with arch rivals Egypt. Strong in the midfield with Captain Yazid Mansouri, Karim Ziani and Mourad Meghni.

SLOVENIA / Nickname: unknown
Slovenia came through a very difficult group and playoff to reach the finals, much of which is due to a great defense. There are a few star players. Watch out for Robert Koren, who has been a good player for West Brom in the English Championship this year.

Group D

GERMANY / Nickname: The Erics
Hasslehof, Lederhosen, porn star moustaches, hairy armpits and sausages. Germany tends to be bloody good at football, though. Lahm, Ballack and Schweinsteiger are classy players, as well as a bunch of Polish lads they stole.

AUSTRALIA / Nickname: The Socceroos
Australia caused lots of problems for teams at the last World Cup and got knocked out in the last minute of its game against eventual winners, Italy. It has a different coach, but pretty much the same team. Tim Cahill scores a lot from midfield and their keeper Schwarzer is on good form.

SERBIA / Nickname: Beli Orlovi (White Eagles)
Serbia won its qualifying group in style over the Froggies in second place. Stankovic and Vidic are at the heart of the team and they have great technical ability on the ball, like most Eastern European teams.

GHANA / Nickname: The Black Stars
One of, if not the best African team in the competition, having won World Cups at under 17 and under 20 levels, so obviously Ghana has a lot of youthful talent to draw upon. It’s super strong in midfield with Essien, Muntari and Appiah.

Group E

NETHERLANDS / Nickname: The Oranje
Ahh, the Dutch. Well supported in the local area, no doubt, the Cloggies are consistently one of the top teams in Europe, but often plagued by ego and a lack of team spirit. Could be one to watch this World Cup as they didnt drop a single point in qualifying, but only if they stop smoking marijuana and picking tulips. Robin van Persie is fit again and Arjen Robben is on good form for Bayern.

DENMARK / Nickname: Danish Dynamite
Denmark came through one of the toughest qualification groups, including the Swedes and Portuguese and has a lot of fighting spirit in the team. Its players are at many of the top European club teams, so there is a lot of experience, and the team won’t be overwhelmed by the World Cup stage.

JAPAN / Nickname: Samurai Blue
Japan has an excellent coach in Okada, who reads the game very well. It has solid players like Nakazawa, Okazaki, Nakamura and Honda (the midfield engine). The team has set its sights on the semi finals, but I will eat raw fish daily for the rest of my life if it makes it that far. Of course, they have crazy fans who scream like Beatlemania never happened, so it’s always nice to see Japan do well.

CAMEROON / Nickname: Indomitable Lions
With Eto’o of Barcelona and Webo, there will be problems upfront, but Cameroon is playing some old timers at the back that are lacking a little speed and mobility. Cameroon’s players were the pioneers of innovative goal celebrations — check out Roger Milla’s corner flag samba from 1990 on YouTube — hopefully they will score some goals and we can see how things have progressed.

Group F

ITALY / Nickname: The Azzurri
Once again, the Italians don’t look like they have much to offer other than being incredibly solid defensively and possessing a huge desire to win. However, they have won four World Cup’ playing like that. They still have the brilliant Buffon in goal, super defender Cannavaro and tireless Gattuso in midfield and not a bad player in the squad, but I don’t see a spark in the team.

PARAGUAY / Nickname: Albirroja
Paraguay had its best ever qualifying campaign, finishing ahead of the Argies, behind Brazil and Chile. Much of that was based on its home form and although it has made it to eight finals, it has have never got beyond the last 16. There’s have a chance to repeat that in this group, but I think that would be it.

NEW ZEALAND / Nickname: All Whites
Its second-ever World Cup! More famous for Rugby and Hobbits, New Zealand’s team is made up of Ryan Nelson, Shane Smeltz and some sheep. Qualified easily against some small island nations, but it does have a cool black alternate uniform.

SLOVAKIA / Nickname: The Fighting Jondas
Slovakia came through a difficult group to qualify for its first World Cup. Hamsik scores a lot of goals from midfield and Sestak is its top striker at the moment. It has a realistic chance to go further, the key game being the Paraguay game.

Group G

BRAZIL / Nickname: A Seleção
The royalty of football. Everyone likes to watch the Brazilians play — flowing and skillful, they play the game the way it was dreamed up to be played. Brazil is the only country to be at every World Cup and has won it a record five times. The Portugal match should be fun. Kaka looks like an Osmond, and their coach is Dunga, which translates as “poop-mover.”

NORTH KOREA / Nickname: Top Secret
Most of the team plays in North Korea, so we don’t know much about them. At least their supreme leader Kim Jung Ill will be happy and maybe stop throwing nukes around for a couple of weeks. Expect a few reprisal attacks against any team that beats them and me for what I just wrote.

IVORY COAST / Nickname: Les Elephants
A fine team. Drogba, Kalou, Kone, Kolo Toure, Eboue, Zokora, Yaya Toure. These fellas are my choice as THE team to cause a lot of upsets. No one will want to play them, and they have a much maligned, but excellent international coach in Sven-Goran Erikssen, provided he keeps it in his pants.

PORTUGAL / Nickname: A Selecção das Quinas
Portugal qualified by the skin of its teeth, a bit surprising when you look at the quality of its squad. They have Ronaldo, the crybaby cheat with the long neck, who is quite brilliant, on his day, maybe even better than Messi, and some excellent players in supporting roles, too.

Group H

SPAIN / Nickname: La Roja
Spain became European Champions after years of under achievement and joint favourites to win along with Brazil. Unlike Brazil, it has an easy group, with maybe only Chile to watch out for. For quick passing, one touch football at its best, watch Spain.

SWITZERLAND / Nickname: Nati
Switzerland was beat by Luxembourg (who?) during its uneasy qualification, so watch out for some odd results here. Can’t see them posing too many problems moving forward and I’d think the winner of their match with Chile will progress in second behind Spain. Switzerland has a good coach in Hitzfeld, so maybe he can get the team playing better than it looks on paper.

HONDURAS / Nickname: Los Catrachos/La Bicolor
Honduras inched through its group thanks to the USA drawing with Costa Rica, in what is a pretty easy qualification system. It has some top flight players in Palacios, Leon and Pavon, but also several weaker ones in the squad.

CHILE / Nickname: La Roja
Numerous away performances bode well for the Chileans and they like to get forward and attack. It has several players who will be looking to make an impression in the “shop window” of the World Cup. Expect some “tasty” defending, especially against the Spaniards.